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Sarcasm time—oh yeah, escortin’s SO glamorous. Mud, blood, and some schmuck yellin’ at ya to walk faster. Still, I’d tip my hat to ‘em. They’re the unsung heroes, like, “Why am I doing this?”—same as Dae-su askin’ life’s big questions. Difference is, escorts don’t get revenge—they just cash the check. Smart move, y’all.

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I decide to hit up the local market on Calle 2. It’s a vibe, man. Fresh fruits, handmade crafts, and the smell of street food everywhere. I’m walkin’ around, tryin’ to forget about my sandwich tragedy, when I bump into this old dude. He’s sellin’ coconuts, and I’m like, “Why not?” I grab one, and he hands me a machete. I’m thinkin’, “What am I supposed to do with this?” But hey, I’m a sailor, I can handle it.

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