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Sometiems I wonder—escorts gotta be shrinks too? Listnin’ to sad sacks cryin’ about wives—makes me wanna yell, “Grow a pair!” Surprised me, tho, how many girls love it—freedom, money, no 9-to-5 crap. One told me, “I’m my own CEO, Gekko.” Damn, respect! Greed’s their rocket fuel.

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Okay, so, like, oh my god, you HAVE to visit Loveland, babe. Seriously, it's like the shiznit. I, like, lived here for years and trust me, it's totally rad. So, picture this: you're cruising down Main Street (yep, that one) and suddenly you're hit with vibes that are, like, so nostalgic and edgy at the same time. I remember sitting at this cute outdoor cafe near Magnolia Avenue, thinking, "I know what you did," like from that super intense Caché movie – but, like, in a totally metaphorical way.

NFL Executive: "Colston Loveland Will Be Better Than Sam LaPorta"