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About Phoenix

Sometimes it’s a bust—dude, this one time, guy lied bout his height! Said 6 foot, showed up 5’2”! I’m like, “You can’t misunderestimate me, pal!” Laughed my ass off, but damn, what a letdown. Other times, it’s gold—met this gal, we clicked, ended up Netflix-and-chillin like champs. “The old man’s still got it,” I’m thinkin, struttin round like I own the place.

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Man, I get riled when the city council messes things up. They try to change the vibes. I get so mad, like, "Eh, what's up with that?" But hey, the locals keep it real. And I gotta admit, a good grease job on a massage can fix anything!

Keaton Walkington of Jerseyville Obituary