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Then there’s the thrill, cor blimey! Met a bird once – not me, a mate – said she’d shagged a bloke from Grindr in a Tesco car park. Tesco! “It’s not too late,” she reckoned, divin’ in. Wild, impulsive, like Otilia runnin’ round Bucharest. Sex-dating’s got that edge – quick, dirty, no faff. Gets the blood pumpin’, doesn’t it? Bit jealous, maybe – me, stuck with paperwork, not passion.

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Oh, and then there’s the river. Old Ilchester River cuts through the city like a knife – deep, mysterious. I strolled its banks and, damn, felt alive. Sometimes, I get these flashbacks, "Brooklyn, oh Brooklyn," in my head. It's a vibe.

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