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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the freakin’ Violin Maker, and I’ve got thoughts—wild ones—about escort. Not that sleek car, nah, I mean the gig, the shadowy escort biz! You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in one hand, violin in the other, ranting like I’m facin’ a Balrog, but it’s just me and you, chattin’ over ale.

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Then, I get a call from a client. He’s freaking out about his upcoming match. I’m like, “Dude, breathe! You got this!” But he’s all, “What if I mess up?” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Czluchow! Just think of it as a practice game.” But he’s not having it. I’m trying to be the calm in his storm, but inside, I’m like, “Why do I even do this?”

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