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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, yeah, that steamy, slippery goodness. Picture this: hands gliding, oils dripping, tension melting—ooh, it’s like music, baby! I’m a musician, right? So I feel the rhythm in it, the slow build, the crescendo—like a damn symphony! But lemme tell ya, it ain’t just fancy spa crap for the 1%. Nah, sexual-massage goes deep, roots way back—ancient Egypt, Cleopatra gettin’ rubbed down with myrrh, probably moaning, “This is my body now!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, reclaim that power!

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I swear, working in a spa here teaches ya a lot. I see all kinds – people with stress built up like a brick wall, all needing a bit of pampering. Sometimes I wonder, “Bloody hell, these folks remind me of those quirky misfits in a Wes Anderson scene, all desperate for a slice of serenity.” But hey, a spa’s a spa, and I’m here to mend broken souls – even if they’re as annoying as my morning alarm.

Nearly 70 families participate in Harwood Heights village garage sale