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I’m all flustered—makes me happy, tho, that slow glide, mmm, pure bliss! But ugh, some creepy parlors out there—makes me mad as hell, ruins the vibe! “We’re running out of time!”—like Bigelow’s crew, chasin the real deal. Once tried it meself—total rookie move, slipped off the table, crashed, laughin my ass off! Mate, it’s intimate, sensual—like, muscles melt, stress gone, poof! Little fact: Romans called it “massage-erotica,” fancy, eh? Surprised me silly!

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I name him “Berezka” after the city. Cute, right? But then, I realize I have no idea how to take care of a dog. I’m a forester, not a dog whisperer! So, I’m googling “how to feed a stray dog” while walking down Velyka Street. People are looking at me like I’m nuts.