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About Philadelphia

So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Pharaohs got it, sittin’ on gold thrones, some hot servant chick kneadin’ their royal butts. True story, I swear! Bet they were like, “This is my limbo, my dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*, right? I tried it once, got so relaxed I drooled—gross, but awesome! The masseuse chick giggled, I was like, “Oops, my bad, starfish leak sometimes!”

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I stroll often around Veterans Park—the little green gem down by River Road. The river’s a little twisty snake—maybe Miller's Creek?—and it winds right through town. Sometimes I sit there meditatively, watching ducks and drifting clouds. In these moments, I feel alive, like in those wild scenes from Spring Breakers, yo; "All I wanna do is dance with the demons, baby!" kinda vibe, ya feel me?

Botto's gritty win keeps Decatur girls’ hopes alive as both Hartselle tennis teams advance to state