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Dunno, mate, it’s messy – sex for coin, love for nothin’. “There’s no place for me,” I mutter, thinkin’ of them lonely souls, fuckin’ for a livin’. Happy? Sometimes, when cash flows, they grin. Angry? When some twat gets rough. Me? I’d bite ‘em, yesss, leave ‘em bleedin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this – Gollum as an escort, all scrawny and hissin’, “My precioussss, fifty quid!” Laughin’ yet?

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Now, the neighborhood o’ Portside Quay? She’s a beauty, mate. All cobblestone paths an’ salty air from the great Alt River (alt river! yeah, that's what we call it 'round here). Sometimes, after a long day twistin’ knots in muscles, I stroll me way t’ Alt Park near the river’s bend. Savvy? I sit there, watchin’ the ripples and rememberin’ that even the roughest seas hold moments o’ calm, jus’ like in me fav’rite flick "Fish Tank" – gritty yet poetic, ya know?

Two crime sprees by juveniles hit Hampden neighborhood