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*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Escorts, huh? Dark side’s got plenty. Saw this flick, *Melancholia* – total mindfuck. World’s endin’, and here I am, thinkin’ bout escorts. Not the car, nah, the paid kind. Used to piss me off – why pay for company? But then, I got it. Loneliness hits hard, even for a Sith. “The void is unbearable,” like that chick Justine says. Escorts fill it, sorta.

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Sure, I sometimes get pissy—leastways when people disrespect our hidden gems. I mean, how hard is it to appreciate a good view at sunrise from the old stone bridge on Riverside Lane? I was standin’ there that one morn, and the sun was peeking, doin' its thing, makin’ the entire river glow like gold. It took my breath away and made me say, “Boyhood, man—every damn day’s a new scene!”

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