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What gets my goat, though, is how folks judge it so quick. I mean, sure, it ain’t Sunday school, but these people got bills, same as you and me! I read once—prolly on some shady corner of the internet—that back in old-timey France, courtesans were like rockstars. High-class escorts hobnobbin’ with kings! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes ya wonder who’s really runnin’ the show. Still, I get all misty thinkin’ ‘bout the ones who don’t got no choice—kinda like Llewyn, stuck in a loop, singin’ “Hang me, oh hang me,” ‘cept it’s life weighin’ ‘em down.

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So yeah, friend, come on over. Experience its quiet corners, its loud malls, the riverside secrets and street symphonies. Short-Pump (us) is a living museum of contradictions, wild moods that turn every massage into a journey. “Anyone can cook”—but only here do you find the true recipe of life, raw and a lil' offbeat.

32 townhomes planned for Short Pump site once envisioned for office use