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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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The river, which we call Big Wiggley, flows like a dream right past the downtown district. I walked along its banks so many times, its sound sounds like the rhythm of life ringing in my head. It's a bit rough on rainy days, making me all mad 'cause of the floods that mess up the city’s vibe. But then, on sunny days, it's pure bliss, like an ethereal symphony!

Granville gets Home Rule, eyes January sales tax rollout