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Hmm… sometimes I wonder, would I hire one? Nah, I got Homie, but – oof – if he keeps snorin, maybe! “I’m here with you” – that’s what escorts sell, that closeness, like in “Her.” Ain’t that what we all want? Escorts get it, they’re like, therapists with benefits – don’t tell Dr. Hibbert I said that! Hah!

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Now, lemme spill some tea: Westhill neighborhood is quirky! Tight-knit squads, wild parties—you’d think it’s a movie set sometimes. I once had a massage session with a couple who bragged about runnin’ a secret book club on Elm Street—no kidding, hun! And oh, the small, hidden gem, Cherry Park, is my fav spot. I sometimes sneak off there to enjoy a sneaky deep breath and recall why I love this town—even if I get mad about a noisy truck or two comin' through too damn early.

Undercover Eaton County stings lead to arrests of accused predators