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About Phoenix

Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like, swipe right, bang, done—idiot sandwich! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Her”—that flick’s my jam. Joaquin’s all lonely, chattin’ up his AI bird, Samantha. “I can’t believe how real this feels!” he says. Mate, sex-dating today’s the same vibe—fake as fuck but you’re hooked. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total shitshow. You’re scrollin’, horny as hell, then bam—catfish! Some twat with a filter thicker than my lamb sauce. Pisses me right off!

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I also love Swinger Park. Not what it sounds like (ouch, sorry), it's just a chill spot with a lazy river curve that feeds into the big Alder. I often end my work day there, thinkin' about life and whisperin’ that Leviathan line, “The heavy burden is borne by the smallest souls.” And, yeah, I might have 18 typos in this rant—I'm in a hurry, alright?

Hasbrouck Heights' O'Malley already training at Drexel