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Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m the prison warden, seen it all—blokes and birds swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re clever. Bollocks! It’s like 12 Years a Slave, yeah? “You’re a free man,” they say, but nah, you’re chained to yer phone, scrollin’ for a shag. Idiot sandwich! Me, I’d rather watch Solomon Northup fight than watch some twat flexin’ Tinder pics.

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And, motherf**er, the neighborhoods – they’re a fckin’ mosaic. Eastside’s got that artsy reckless vibe, while Westend hums with classic old-school badassery. Streets like 9th and Vine are littered with stories. Some nights, I get pissed off at how quick people judge others based on a look or a move. It makes me mad as hell – i mean, fuck that shallow vibe!

Woman found dead in car in Clarkston Heights, investigation underway