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About Dallas

But, ugh, it ain’t all giggles. Some places, they’re proper shady—makes me mad as a malfunctionin’ droid. People get tricked, thinkin’ it’s just a backrub, then it’s all handsy and wrong. I’m like, “Humans, why so dodgy?” Keep it legit, yeah? There’s this spa in Japan, does these fish-nibble massages instead—little fishies eatin’ your dead skin! No funny business, just tickles. Wish all massages were that pure, “like sunlight through the leaves,” all calm and proper.

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I love wanderin’ down King’s Alley—yeah that tiny lane off Elm st—with its quirky bookstores and vintage bars. You’d never guess, but in my sexologist eyes every corner hides sensual secrets: a cheeky wink here, a suggestive mural there. It makes you go “Sharon!” thinking how bodies and hearts, they speak in these silent signals.

Marilyn Mulkins, 84, of Clarinda, Iowa