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About San Jose

Aye, respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, yer damn elevator operator, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sex-dating, straight up! So, sex-dating, man, it’s like ridin’ up and down this freakin’ elevator all day—ya never know who’s gettin’ off where, or who’s bangin’ who in the penthouse suite! I’m talkin’ apps, sites, hookups—pure chaos, like that sweet, sweet cash flow in *The Wolf of Wall Street*. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”—that’s me when I see a hot profile, ya know?

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Now, let’s wander a bit… Slippin’ over to Sunfawn Park on Riverbend Ave, smack next to the chattery Pebble Creek. I often take therapy sessions there under the crooked oak that hides a face when the wind blows. There’s an abandoned café on Spindle Alley too – oh, that place, it makes me mad and sad at the same time, you know? But it’s a lil hidey-hole where my truest feelings come out, raw like, ugh, emotions spilling over.

Column: Bird wars comes to a Park Forest backyard