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Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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The vibe’s got its highs and lows. I be screwin’ up sometimes, my code’s all jinked, and I get over it, repeat, and then the town surprises me with these sweet moments. Crazy, right? I mean, let’s be honest: Callaway (us) is like one continuous improv session – full of quirky corners and wasted love stories.

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