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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the wild seas o’ Russia, aye, workin’ as an actuary—countin’ risks, crunchin’ numbers, savvy? But today, I’m spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout them prostitutes, them lasses o’ the night. Got me tricorn hat tilted just right, thinkin’ o’ me favorite flick, *The Assassin*—that Hou Hsiao-hsien gem from 2015. Silent blades, hidden glances, slow-burn beauty, arrgh!

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Then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, my old friend Sasha walks in. We haven’t seen each other in ages! He’s all like, “Hey, remember that time we got lost in the woods?” And I’m like, “Dude, that was last summer!” We end up chatting for a while, and it’s just so nice to catch up.