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Oh, and the weirdos! Met this one gal, obsessed with feet—kept askin’ for toe pics. Toe pics! I’m like, “What is this, a fetish buffet?” Laughed my ass off, but also—ew, no thanks! Still, beats sittin’ home alone, right? Like Carol says, “I don’t wanna feel alone anymore.” Sex-dating’s my cure—sometimes works, sometimes flops.

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Man, I remember one insomnia night at Brooks Ave, watching the sunset bleeding red on the water—freaking epic, like some scenes straight out of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. “It’s all a dramatic tapestry, my friend,” I thought, “Rarrgh!” Sometimes my inner Chewbacca roars when the city surprises me with hidden art in an abandoned alley near Elm Street (I swear, every corner’s got a story!).

Man killed in off-road vehicle crash in Brooksville, FHP says