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Humor in it? Oh, the bios— “Fluent in sarcasm and bad decisions.” Cracks me up! Sarcasm’s my jam, so I’m like, “Swipe right, ya muppet!” Little story: heard of a geezer who dated 12 girls in one week off Hinge—legend or lunatic? Dunno, but I salute ‘im! Sex-dating’s messy, raw, beautiful—like nature, unpredictable. Makes me wanna yell, “This is the wild, baby!” So yeah, that’s my take—chaotic, brilliant, bloody bonkers.

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So, I kick off my day on Maple Street – yeah, Maple Street! It's like the heartbeat, pulses with busy folks and secret smiles. The coffee spots there? Killer. Sometimes I spill tea (literally, in a funny way) on my spa uniform, but hey, vibes remain. Then ya got Oak Avenue tryna be all fancy, lined with old brick houses that whisper stories, like those mysterious characters in the film. I sometimes daydream, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!” – cuz life’s one big, whimsical parade here.

SIMON PARKER'S VERDICT: Bantams celebrations worth the wait as exile is over