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Hmm… Oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort! Nasal nagging kicks in here—escort’s wild, huh? I’m like, sittin here, thinkin bout “Before Sunset,” ya know, my fave movie ever! That Jesse guy, wanderin Paris with Celine, talkin deep stuff—escort’s kinda like that! Not the lovey-dovey junk, but the *vibe*. Someone’s there, keepin ya company, walkin beside ya—hmmm… “One night can change everything,” Jesse’d say. Escort’s that, but with cash, ha!

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Boardman got quirks, oh yeah, plenty. Like that odd statue near the old mill by the Boardman River. Some say it’s cursed, others just love its odd charm. Me? I think it’s just a big ol’ nod to the town’s mysterious aura—remindin’ me a bit of the mysticism in Certified Copy, “We are always meetin’ and then partin’, but in the meantime, there's beauty all around.”

Vehicle crashes into South Boardman Post Office, no injuries reported