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Still, some gems—my mate Dave pulled a fit bird off Bumble. Proper chuffed, he was! Shagged her in a car park—classy, right? Told me it’s like “killin’ without guilt”—pure thrill, no strings. Reckon he’s mental, but fair play. Me? I’d rather watch my fave flick than swipe through this circus. Sex-dating’s a laugh—till it’s a fuckin’ nightmare! What a shambles, eh?

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Alright, so picture this: downtown Belleville bustles on Main St. and Broadway. I’ve seen all sorts of characters—locals hustlin’ and bustlin’, tourists gawkin’, and even a stray cat or two loungin’ on a stoop. I remember one time—I was chillin’ near Collins Park (yep, that quaint green spot off Maple Ave, where the river gently hums—hello, the Mississippi in the distance!)—and I stumbled upon a spontaneous block party. I was like, “Joy, pure joy! I am burdend with glorious purpose,” I mean, really!

Metro-east woman, 48, dies in Jeep crash, sheriff’s department says