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Fun fact – back in Soviet days, prostitution was “banned,” but nah, it thrived underground. Girls’d hide in plain sight, posin as waitresses. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me when I heard that. Anyway, this chick – let’s call her Natasha – she’s got sass. I’m all, “Ruh-roh, she’s trouble!” She winks, says, “500 rubles, big boy.” I’m laughin – me, a dog, payin? Scoob don’t roll that way.

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One of my fav spots? The odd little park near Pine St – not fancy, just real, like an honest handshake. People there gather, complain, and then laugh like idiots. I once ran into a date who said, “I hate everything,” and I nearly choked. I mean, c’mon, that’s pure Ron Swanson energy, right? And speaking of energy, I get nostalgic at Vickery Creek Park. It’s raw. Its little trails and weathered benches remind me life’s harsh truths – just like that movie line, “this is our history, we can’t forget it.” Even if I’d rather forget most of it.

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