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About Phoenix

The scams, oh, the scams on these apps, terrible, the worst. Some chick pretended to be a model, tricked this dude I know, took his money, his heart, everything. “You’re not listening,” like in “Ten,” and I’m screaming, “Nobody’s listening!” It’s a disaster, folks, a total disaster. But then, there’s funny stuff, too, hilarious. This guy matched with his own cousin, can you believe it? Laughed so hard, folks, so hard, but also, ew, gross, right?

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Oh, and yo, there’s this rad little cafe tucked off Sunset St. I go there to scribble notes on human feelins – and sometimes, I swear the barista’s smile is as mysterious as “La grande bellezza”! Ain’t that wild? The locals tell me it's a hidden gem, but shhh, don't broadcast it – it's our little secret.

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