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Now, here’s the funny part—sometimes you think you’re the king, right? Struttin’ like, “I own this town!” Then you realize half these girls don’t give a shit bout you. Sarcasm drippin’ off ‘em—“Oh, big spender, huh?” Burns ya deep, but it’s hilarious. One even told me, “Go home, Scarface, I’m tired.” Me! Tony Montana! Tired? Fuck that noise.

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First off, I head down to the local café on Front Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab a cuppa and a bacon sarnie. Best bacon sarnie in town, no joke. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate Dave. He’s like, “Oi, we need to talk about the factory.” My heart sinks. Factory drama? Ugh, not today!

Pontefract's historic Counting House reopens as bar and restaurant