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About Cork

I tried it once, chile—don’t judge me! Some gal named Trixie, hands like butter, had me screamin’ “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn!” ‘Cause, ooh wee, she hit them spots! Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then I got mad—why this cost me my whole paycheck? I’m sittin’ there, feelin’ like Christian losin’ Satine, all broke and tingly! Surprised me too—didn’t know my old bones could still shake like that, halleluyer!

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But then, the mood shifts. Man Utd equalizes, and the whole place goes silent. I’m just sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is why I don’t bet on footie.” But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a notification from my betting app. “Lucky Leprechaun wins!” I’m like, “What the actual…?” Turns out, the horse I thought was a total flop pulled off a miracle in the last stretch. I’m jumpin’ up and down, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m mad.

Death Notice of Nuala O'Sullivan-Lane (Ballincollig, Cork)