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Little fact for ya—did ya know some prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty cows! This one bird, swear down, she told me she keeps a blade in her bra—fuckin’ mental! Said it’s for the punters who get lairy. Respect, I suppose, but Christ, imagine the stress! I’d be shittin’ meself every night.
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Then, I spot this old guy sitting on a bench, feeding the ducks. He looks so peaceful, and I’m like, “Man, I wanna be that chill.” But then he starts talking to me about the “good ol’ days.” I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Dude, I’ve got a life to live!”
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