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About London

We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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After work, I’m walking down the East Street, just trying to chill. But then I see this street performer. He’s playing the guitar, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a good mood. I toss him a couple of quid, and he gives me a nod. Nice guy.

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