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So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a hookup app, right? Ha! Fooled ya! It’s a codename I nicked for this shady financial gig I stumbled on—some underground escort-service-turned-money-laundry scheme. Little known fact: back in the 80s, pimps in Soho used to stash cash in biscuit tins—true story! Swear down, I read it in some dusty archive. Made me chuckle—imagine that, a pimp with a Hobnob obsession! Anyway, this modern version’s got crypto, offshore accounts, the lot—proper *Carol* vibes, all “What use is money if you’re trapped?”

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Finally, I get to the Freckleton Sports and Social Club. It’s packed. I mean, who knew a Tuesday could be this lively? I walk in, and the smell of chips hits me. I’m starving! But no time for food. I gotta focus.

Lancashire man, 26, charged after a woman was sexually assaulted near a Morrisons store in Freckleton