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Oh, and get this—*waggles finger*—in Amsterdam, they got windows fer it! Red lights, legit as a butcher’s shop! Saw it meself once—*mimes gawkin’, jaw drops*—nearly fell in a canal, splash! Reckon it’s safer than dodgin’ pimps in Soho, mind. Still, ya gotta watch yerself—*squints, looks shifty*—“The less you know, the better,” like Dae-su says. Some o’ these lads’ll nick yer wallet faster than you can say “knees up!”

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So, I roll into Coppull, right? First thing I notice is the roundabout on the A49. Like, why are there so many roundabouts? It’s like they’re trying to confuse us or something. Anyway, I’m just tryna find my way to the local café, The Coffee House on Chapel Street. I need my caffeine fix, ya know?

RESTAURANT REVIEW: A spicy delight on your drive out of the red rose county at Cinnamon Indian Cuisine