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Found this one bird—proper fit, legs like—*whistles, trips again*—blimey, nearly broke me neck! She’s all “50 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet, coins spillin’ everywhere—*pats pockets, panics*—like I’m Eli Cash goin’ “I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.” Made me laugh, that—me, a prossie’s Tenenbaum? Reckon she’s seen worse than me, tho. Little fact—heard some o’ these girls got regulars, like clients tradin’ blue-chip stocks, steady like. Mad, eh?

How to tell if a 'pop-up brothel' has been set up in your area

I get there, and my coworker, Sarah, is in a tizzy. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new park opening on the other side of the A245?” I’m like, “No, but I’m sure it’s gonna be a whole thing.” Turns out, it’s a big deal. They’re having a ribbon-cutting ceremony, and guess who’s in charge of the program? Yep, yours truly.

Australian actress Tilda Cobham-Hervey's heartbreak as her legendary dancer mother Roz dies aged 59 at home fr