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About Myself
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About Glasgow
So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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After that, I finally get my coffee. It’s decent, but the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But hey, I’m trying to keep it cool. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? But then I realize I’ve got a meeting at the Calcot Community Centre in 30 minutes. Panic mode activated!
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