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So, picture this—I’m in King’s Landing, right? Some shady brothel, stinks of sweat and cheap wine. This lass, she’s got hands like a goddamn sorceress, kneadin’ me like dough. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t half bad,” but then—BOOM—she’s whisperin’ prices for “extras.” Made me mad as hell! I’m like, “What is this, a negotiation?” Reminds me of Anton Chigurh, that cold bastard—calmly askin’ if I wanna die or pay up. “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”—except it’s my dignity, not my life, on the line.

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So, sugar, if you visit, do drop by my spa—you best relax and let the magic embrace ya. And remember, as the wind whispers through the alleys like that spirited chant, "Once you do, you'll never be the same!" Ain’t that the truth?

Wombwell: £1m cannabis factory found by police