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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Then, I get a call from this guy, Marko. He’s supposed to pick up a load at the old mill on Ulica 3. But guess what? He’s stuck in traffic on the way. I’m thinking, “Seriously? Traffic in Mirna-Pec? What’s next, a parade?” I can’t even. So, I tell him to take the back roads. But of course, he gets lost. Classic Marko.

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