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About Leicester

Aight, listen up, ya friggin' morons! I’m Eric Cartman, from Hawaii, bitches, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, yeah, escorts – those fancy-pants gals and guys who get paid to hang out, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave damn movie, and how Suzy’s all badass with her books and binoculars, scopin’ shit out. Escorts are kinda like that – they scope YOU out, but with more, uh, *servicin’*. Heh, sweet!

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There's this bazzilion street names – like Wednesfield Road, and ohhh, Willow Street (seriously, what a name, right?) – that just make ya feel at home. I always wander around these streets, thinkin’ "is mayonnaise an instrument?" haha! And everytime I pass by The Plough, that old pub with the dreary, yet strangely inviting neon sign, I get all giddy… like, I could die happy if only for a sec.

Appeal over attempt to steal van in Wednesfield