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About Bristol

Oh, oh! And the lies! Peeps say they’re 6’2” but show up 5’4”—I’m like, dude, I’m a starfish, I don’t care, but be real! Gets me all riled up. But when it works? Man, it’s like jellyfishin’ on a good day—pure joy! Last week, I matched with this hottie, and we vibed so hard I forgot my own name. “Patrick who?”—me, starin’ at her like she’s a Krabby Patty.

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And ohhh, the damn river Oodle flows right by, kinda like that sly, sneaky presence in the film, gollum-ish and mysterious—it splits the city near Dockside Quay, where I once sat, cryin' or laughing at the world, not sure which, my precious… Oooh, you should see the reflections of the old clock tower, right on Bridge Street near Saint Mary's Alley. It’s a twisty, funny old place, makes you think "the wall" is near, all guarded secrets, yesss indeed.

Official opening held of football team's new stand