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Yo, so I’m The Auditor, right? Checkin’ out this erotic-massage thing. Man, it’s wild—hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Words are useless,” like Godard said in *Goodbye to Language*. Straight up, it’s less talk, more rubbin’. You ever try this? Shit’s intense, fam. Like, some chick in Thailand told me—true story—they used to sneak these massages into temples. Monks were like, “Nah, fam, enlightenment’s overrated.” Got me laughin’—holy dudes gettin’ freaky? Wild.
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I love wanderin’ down Mitcham Road – wait, near Tooting Broadway too. Odd gem, a quirky cafe where hours fly. Seriously, ain't that a blast? I met funny peeps. My dating app gigs mean I see the small bits – that one corner on Clapham Road, yeah, where locals gather over coffee.
‘Get ready to make a splash’: Tooting Bec Lido reopens for the summer
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