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About Birmingham

I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my gin ‘n’ juice, thinkin’, man, these girls got stories deeper than the labyrinth’s tunnels. “To live is to suffer,” like the faun said, but they keep pushin’. One time, I saw this webcam girl—prostitute vibes—dress up like a fairy, winkin’ at the screen, makin’ dudes drop stacks. I was like, “Yooo, she’s the captain now!” Had me crackin’ up, ‘cause she flipped the script, owned it, ya feel?

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Now, as a massage parlor owner, I see the underbelly. People come here feeling all soft and frazzled, and trust me—they’re not that different from the tired old buildings here. My shop on Victoria Terrace—yeah, that's where the magic happens—has seen more secrets than the town library. Some of my clients start their journeys right here in these streets. They whisper, "You're the architect of serenity" like he's some kind of totem. I smirk and say, "No, it's just a massage." But if you pay close attention, you'll see how the scent of ocean salt mingles with that of pine trees from the inland parks, like The Green behind the council offices.

Swanage to say farewell to Sister Sue