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So. This. One. Time. Stateside. I’m. Tryin’. It. Again. Masseuse. Looks. Like. Mi-do. From. Oldboy. Soft. Voice. Killer. Grip. She’s. Workin’. My. Back. I’m. Thinkin’. “Fifteen. Years. Of. This?” Like. Oh. Dae-su’s. Revenge. Plot. But. Then—oh. Man. She. Flips. Me. Over! Starts. The. Real. Deal. Sexual-massage. Ain’t. Just. Relaxation. It’s. A. Freakin’. Journey! Heart. Poundin’. Sweaty. Palms. I’m. Yellin’. In. My. Head. “Live. For. Me!” Movie. Line. Fits. Perfect.

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Right off, you got Main Street – well, actually it's called High Street here – where the local shops get on my nerves sometimes, but then again, sometimes they're oddly charming. I still remember walkin’ down St. Mary's Road, all quiet in the early mornin', letting my thoughts drift like the calm of a lazy river. Speaking of rivers, the little brook near Riverside Park – yes, the one sometimes called the “murmur stream” by locals – always calms my squirrelly brain. “Just when I thought life couldn’t get any more surreal, it happens,” like they say in Yi Yi: A One and a Two – proper deep stuff, that.

League leaders Eastwood easily sweep Shirebrook aside