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About Liverpool

So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just some spa crap. It’s got history, brother! Way back, like ancient Hawaii vibes, they called it “lomi lomi”—means “to knead,” and them islanders knew how to work it! They’d rub ya down, get the blood pumpin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like ya can bodyslam a volcano! Little known fact: some say Cleopatra got ‘em too, usin’ oils from freaky flowers to keep her glow. True or not, I’m sold, brother!

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So, I run over, scoop him up, and we bolt outta there. I’m feelin’ like a superhero, but also like, “What if I trip?” But I don’t. We make it out, and the kid’s mom is there, crying and hugging him. I’m all, “No biggie, just another day at the office.” But inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just saved a life!”

Teddy Sheringham says ‘amazing’ player would not be playing for Arsenal if Sir Alex Ferguson was Man Utd manager