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Now, what gets me proper chuffed is the thrill of it—like when ya match with someone fit and they msg back quick, heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, it’s magic! Reminds me of Chihiro and Haku, that spark when they lock eyes, “You’re my friend,” he says, soft like, and you’re thinkin’, “Cor, could this be it?” But then—oh mate, the rage! Ghostin’ pisses me off somethin’ fierce—ya chat for days, then poof, they’re gone, no “See ya later,” nothin’. Happened to me once, this lass seemed keen, then vanished—felt like No-Face gobblin’ up my hopes and spittin’ ‘em out. Gutted, I was.

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Snooker fan attends every session of Sheffield World Championships