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So, this one time, I read—get this—prostitutes in Amsterdam got a union! A frickin’ UNION! Blew my mind, I was like, “Woo-hoo!” They’re out there, organizin’, fightin’ for rights, while I’m sittin’ here, scratchin’ my butt. Surprised me big time—thought they just, ya know, did the nasty and that’s it. Nope! They’re hustlin’ harder than Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Sell me this pen!”

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Then, I get a text from my mate, Sam. He’s at the beach, and he’s like, “You gotta come down! The waves are mental!” I’m torn, right? Do I ditch Dave and go catch some waves? But then I remember, I’m a professional. So, I stick it out.

County tradesman wins New York trip... despite not knowing he had entered competition