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I’m jazzed, talkin’ ‘bout this—makes me wanna shag carpet! Escorts ain’t just arm candy, no sir! They’re smartsy, too—some got degrees, blowin’ my mind! Like, “He’s waitin’ for somethin’ bigger,” from the movie—escorts waitin’ for the big score, maybe? Gets me all randy thinkin’ how they hustle. But ugh, the creeps they deal with—makes me wanna smash a guitar! Slimy blokes pawin’ at ‘em, ugh, uncool, daddy-o!

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Finally, my crew rolls in. A bunch of tourists, all excited. I’m pumped too! We start off down Darkes Lane. It’s a nice street, but I’m thinking, “Why’s it called Darkes? Sounds like a horror movie.” Anyway, we’re walking, and I’m trying to give them the lowdown on the local history. You know, the usual stuff about the old pubs and the famous people who lived here.

Photographers' pictures go on display in Hatfield shopping centre exhibition