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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! Escorts, man, they’re wild! Like, I’m talkin’ about those fancy schmancy cars, right? Not the shady stuff—get yer mind outta the gutter! I’m obsessed with “Children of Men,” that flick’s dope. “The world’s gone mad,” like Clive Owen says, and escorts fit right in. They’re these beefy rides, haul dudes around, all secret-like. Back in the day, Ford Escort—total classic, bro! 1968, rolled out in Britain, tiny but scrappy. Kinda like me, short but badass, ya know?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I woke up in Portlethen, right? This little gem of a town just south of Aberdeen. I mean, it’s not exactly London, but it’s got its charm. The sea’s just a stone’s throw away, and the air smells like... well, seaweed and fish, but you get used to it.

Revealed: Police spend thousands on disused stations with closed Portlethen depot totalling more than £26k