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Here’s a fun fact—back in Victorian days, escorts were “courtesans,” fancy-pants mistresses for rich dudes. They’d get jewels, houses—better gig than slavin in a factory, right? Kinda badass, if ya ask me. Made me happy thinkin bout em stickin it to the patriarchy. Then I remembered—everybody lies, even them. Probly hated half those sweaty lords.

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First off, I had to get ready for my gig. You know, the whole geisha vibe—makeup, kimono, the works. But I spilled tea on my favorite kimono! Ugh! Like, who even does that? I was fuming. I mean, it’s not like I can just pop down to the shops on the High Street and grab another one.

Hanover House: Portishead pensioners 'stuck in their homes' as lift breaks