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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prude! This lass, hands like silk, worked me knots out ‘til I forgot me own name. Happy? Bloody ecstatic! Felt like I could conquer Midgard *and* Wall Street. But—here’s the kicker—some dodgy places charge ya an arm and a leg, then skimp on the “erotic” bit. Pissed me off, that did! False advertisin’, like a stock tip from a drunk uncle. “You stand there, you dig?”—like Saul’s chaos, ya never know what’s real ‘til it’s too late.

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After that, I decided to hit up the park. You know, the one by the River Bann? It’s actually pretty nice, but today it was packed. Families everywhere, kids screaming, dogs running around like they own the place. I found a bench, plopped down, and just tried to chill. But then, this group of teenagers started blasting music. Like, come on! I’m trying to enjoy nature here, not a rave!

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