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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin Program Director, sittin in me grand office, cigar in hand, ponderin the mighty art of sexual-massage. It’s a battlefield, I tell ya! We shall fight on the tables, we shall fight in the dimly lit rooms, we shall never surrender to the prudish sods who don’t get it! Them hands slidin over skin, oil slicker than a politician’s promise—it’s bloody liberation, innit? Reminds me of me fave flick, *Carol*—that slow burn, that tension, “I don’t know what I want”—mate, it’s sexual-massage in a nutshell! You’re lost, then bam, euphoria hits ya.

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Anyway, I finally get to the waterfront, and I’m feeling all inspired. I sit down on a bench near the old shipyard. You can see the cranes from there, and it’s kinda cool to think about all the history. But then, I hear this loud bang. Turns out, some kids were messing around with fireworks. Like, really? It’s not even summer yet! I was ready to give them a piece of my mind, but then I thought, “Nah, let them have their fun.” I mean, I was a kid once too, right?

Parents reveal how Port Glasgow group is helping ASN children and families