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Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah—yaaas, me! So, escort, right? Lemme spill the tea! I’m an insurance agent now, honey, and I’m thinkin’—escort ain’t just cars, it’s LIFE. You know, like in “The Turin Horse”—that slow grind, that heavy vibe. “What we are witnessing here,” girl, is folks needin’ protection—boom, escort! Not the shady kind, nah, I mean legit rides, safety, peace of mind. You get an escort! You get an escort! Everybody gets an escort, y’all!

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First off, I hit up this café on the corner of Main Street. You know, the one with the weird name—“The Coffee Pot” or something. I ordered a latte, and the barista was like, “You want that hot or cold?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a latte. Hot, obviously!” I mean, who drinks cold lattes? Anyway, I got my drink, and it was perfect. Made me happy, ya know?

Charitable foundation by prominent North East entrepreneur will include Ponteland project