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Oh, and don’t get me started—some blokes think it’s all naughty, nudge-wink, but nah, it’s legit! Therapeutic as fuck, mate—boosts circulation, calms the mind, all that jazz. Surprised me first time I heard that—thought it was bollocks, but nope, science backs it! Still, if some prat rushes it, I’d scream, “What are you doing, you donkey?!” Ruins the vibe, pisses me off!

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So, I’m fumin’ and headin’ down to the seafront. You know, Paignton’s got that lovely beach, right? I’m hopin’ to chill by the water, maybe watch the kids play. But nah, it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screamin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find a spot to breathe. I spot a bench on Paignton Green, but it’s taken by a couple of old geezers playin’ chess. I’m like, “Really? Chess? On a sunny day?”

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